these days in paradox

these days in paradox

Life is stationary and in flux.

I’m thinking a lot.

I’m avoiding and confronting, feeling everything and nothing at once.

I am alone, but feeling more connected. With myself. With family and friends. With strangers online. Everyone’s far away, but we’re all in this together.

Isolation unites us and coming together drives us apart.

My world is growing smaller. I can hold it in one hand, but it’s heavier, in a way. Sometimes, I think I’m going to drop it.

What is happening?

I am familiar with change but I don’t fully comprehend “new normal.” I’m thinking about that unreal, in-between feeling of waking up and being stuck between a strange dream and an even stranger reality. Will that feeling go away? When do I start waking up and saying, ‘This is life now’? (And when do I drop the ‘now‘ part?)

Or do I keep waiting for old normal?

(And which normal is the one I don’t like?)

Acceptance and denial work in tandem. I’ve never relied on both so evenly.

I can hardly carry a thought, but I’ve never felt so clearly and precisely as now.

I’m writing.

Are you writing?

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